A letter for you!

This is for all my friends and family out there who wonder why I never write. Lol

Actually the first time I ever read this letter was when my sister Jan and I were small. Young enough I didn’t even get all the jokes that were actually in it. I found it once again while going through some of my mother’s things one day. I thought I would share with all of you. Hope you enjoy. I have no clue; who wrote the original letter, or where the letter actually came from. Hope you enjoy the letter as much as I have, Janeal

Caliwood, Holly fornia

Same day of the same year

S.U. and part of the Peninsula

Dear Friend,

            As I have time because I ain’t so busy, I thought I would write you a few lines, eight or ten pages, and let you know the up-to-date news about six months old.

            We are as well as could be expected for the shape we’re in. We ain’t sick, we just don’t feel good. I am feeling fine. Aunt Martha is dead, hope this finds you the same.

            I suppose you will want to know about us moving from Penn. to Calliwood, Hollyfornia. We never started moving until we left; we never turned off till we came to a cross road that went there so it didn’t take us any longer than from the time we left till we got there. The trip was the best part of it all. If you ever come out here don’t miss that. They didn’t expect to see us until we arrived and the most of the people we knew we were acquainted with, and the ones we didn’t know looked like strangers to us. We are at the same house we moved to last, which is beside our nearest neighbor across the road from the other side, John says he thinks we will stay here till we move or go somewhere else.

             We are very busy faming, we have 3 cows, but we are going to sell one because we can’t milk him. Eggs are a good price,. That’s why they are so high; I sure hope we get a lot of them.  We just have 25 old roosters and one old hen.

            Some of the ground is so poor you can’t raise an umbrella on it, but we have a fine crop of potatoes on it, some are the size of hickory nuts, some the size of peas then a hole lot of littler ones. We also have a crop of corn; I think it will make about five gallon to the acre. Some worms got into our corn last year, but we just fished them out and drank it anyway, our romance started with a garden of corn and ended with a full crib.

            Mary was taking the cows to water and when they went across the bridge one fell through and strained her milk now gets the hiccups once a week and churns her own butter.

            The dog died last week, John said he swallowed the take measure and died by inches, Jane said he crawled up by the bed and died by the foot. But Mary said he went up the back alley and died by the yard.

            My mother-in-law is sick and is at deaths door, we sure hope the doctor can pull her through.

            Joan fell off the back porch and skinned her somewhat and bruised her elsewhere.

Alice got the mumps and is having a swell time.

The baby swallowed a roll of camera film, but the doc doesn’t think anything will develop.

            Every time John gets sick he starts feeling bad. The doctor gave him some medicine and said if he got better it might help him, if he didn’t get any worse he would stay about the same. I think he has paralysis.

            Mary had a garter on her stomach and the doctor said she had been drinking too much knee-hi-pop and it moved up on her.

            Every time Grandpa gets a toothache his foot starts hurting and it doesn’t quit till it stops aching.

            I would have sent you the money I owe you, but I already sealed this letter before I remembered it.

            I sent your overcoat to you, but I cut off the buttons so it wouldn’t be so heavy. If you want them they are in the left hand corner of the left hand pocket.

            We are out of jam so we’re sending John to New York to get a new type we just heard about over the radio, it’s called traffic jam. Maybe you have heard about it. Sure hope its good eating.

            I’ve put your address on the inside of this envelope so it won’t rub off. I must close now.

            If you don’t get this letter, let me know and I’ll mail it to you.

If you can’t read my writing make a copy of it and read your own.

            It took me three days to write this, as I know you are such a slow reader.

             Write soon if it’s nothing more than a check.

P. S. (Pea Soup)

            I would like to describe our new house to you. We now have a house where, everything is modern. We have a kitchen, with running water, a living room, and two bedrooms and then there is a little room upstairs that we just found last week. It’s got a thing in it that looks like what about three feet tall that is to wash your face in, but it isn’t very good as it has a hole in it. Then there is another thing over in the corner that is the handiest thing in the house. You can put one foot down in it and wash it all over then press a little button and you have clean water for the other foot. Grandpa went to get a drink out of it and the lid fell and hit him on the head. It had two lids so mom took one to roll pie dough out on and took the other to frame Grandpa’s picture in.

The only disappoint we have found so far in our new home was we had to build our own outhouse since it didn’t have one as we moved in.

Love to all,

From someone you know, you don’t know.