Wednesday, October 26, 2011

just for laughs

Email to me by a friend and wanted to share with all of mine.

Larry May Become My New Favourite!
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!”
After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up.
The teacher said, “Do you think you're stupid, Larry?” “No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing
there all by yourself!”
Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
“Why do you do that, mommy?” he asked.
“To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
“What's the matter”, asked Larry “Giving up?”
The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, “Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?”
Larry quickly replied, “NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!”
Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals.
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
“Yes” said the policeman. “The detectives want very badly to capture him.”
Larry asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?”
 Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father.
He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest.
After a few minutes, Larry asked,
“Dad, why are you doing that?”
His father replied,
“Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.”
Larry, looking worried, said,
“Dad, I think the Milkman wants to buy Mom .......”


If this brightened your day, don't let it stop here
Pass it on with a smile Keep spreading the cheer!
Pass on to your friends

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Silly Sayings

To All the Fat Cats out There

Don’t bug me until I get my wake up juice!
If my eyes are open I must be dead!
Smiles outlawed until 2pm violators will be prosecuted!
Every time my lids open it hurts my head!
Beauty sleep is important, now go away so I can become pretty!
One third of your life is spent sleeping; let me try for a half!
Popping out of bed sounds good if I wasn’t so toasted!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Raining Cats and Dogs

http://artsandpoemsbyjaneal.blogspot.com/

It’s Raining Cats and Dogs
By Janeal Mulaney

Look over there a paw I did see
Look over here one is stuck in a tree

Look up yonder one fell from that cloud
Look for another the storm’s getting loud

The cats go flying through the air
The dogs soon follow without a care

A cat snags a man hat as it leaps to the ground
A dog lands on his feet and is homeward bound

Dings on my car where they fall and lay
I for one will never forget this horrible day

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Question for the Day

T.J. asked me this question: Why does the sun go around the earth? And if we are on the top of the earth why doesn't the people in China fall off. Do they not realize they are upside down?

Riddle Solved from Tueday

The cowboy had the hicups.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Riddle of the Day

Riddle of the day

Courtesy of NCIS

A cowboy walks into the saloon
Looks at the barkeep and orders a tall glass of water
The barkeep pulls out his rifle and shot over the man’s head into the far wall
The cowboy tipped the man five dollar gold piece then leaves
Why did the cowboy tip the man?
How many of you can come up with the right answer?

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Song from Air Supply always been one of my very favorites

I know you're leaving
I won't ask you to stay
I won't hold you back
I won't stand in your way
If that's what you've gotta do
I understand

It's not that easy setting you free
But that's how it's gotta be
And as you're walking away
As I'm watching you go
There's one thing I want you to know

[Chorus:]
Just remember my heart's with you
When the night gets so long and cold
And no one's there to hold
And you're all alone
Take a moment to think of me
And the love that we used to know
And if you ever find you ever need me someday I'm just a heartbeat away, wo

Saying goodbye isn't saying we're through
Just know through it all I'm still here for you
Light a light in the window
When your lost in the dark, ooh
These arms would be happy to hold you again
If ever you miss me or when you
Start thinking about
All the nights that we shared
Darling you know I'll be there

[Repeat Chorus without last line]

You walk to the door with nothing to say
I look in your eyes and you look away
You're leaving me now, but darling I hope
Hope - that you'll look back someday

(and remember my heart's with you...)